Book-How To Raise Responsible Children

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" height=100 BGCOLOR="#0000FF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B>A Hand for Your Life</B><B> </B><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#FFFFFF" FACE="Arial" ><B>    </B></FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#000099" FACE="Arial" ><B>|  </B></FONT><FONT SIZE="1" COLOR="#FF0000" FACE="Arial" ><B>   </B><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="A Hand for Your Life"><U><B>home</B></U></A></FONT></div> <div> <B>Book-How To Raise Responsible Children</B><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id23.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="BookAdult at Eighteen"><U><B>Book--Adult at Eighteen</B></U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id24.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Order Form"><U><B>Order Form</B></U></A></div> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" height=380 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <B> <A NAME="how_to_raise_responsible_children"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="1" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="1" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" ></A></B><B>How to Raise Responsible Children</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> $10 + shipping and handling</div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="0616f2e0.gif" border=0 width="367" height="558" ALT="responsible respectful children" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id24.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Order Form"><U><B>Order Form</B></U></A></div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>HOW TO RAISE RESPONSIBLE CHILDREN</B></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>1</B></div> <div> <B>Introduction</B></div> <bR> <div> It is difficult to raise children in today's world.  As my own father said to me, "There are more ways for children to get into more serious trouble today than ever before in history."  As a parent, you want to do the best you can to raise your children.  You feel guilty if your children do not turn out to be happy and successful.</div> <bR> <div> What is the right way to raise children?  Many parents have said to me, "I would do just about anything to raise my children.  I just don't know what is right.  If you will tell me what is right, I'll do it."  So, what is right?</div> <bR> <div> However, there are certain principles that seem to hold true.  These approaches can produce children who are happy, responsible, and respectful.  This manual will provide some of those ideas.  They are not magic, and there are no guarantees that they will work every time.  However, using these ideas will increase the odds that your discipline and care will be effective.  These guidelines will help you train your children to be responsible and respectful, and will prepare them to be productive and happy adults.       </div> <bR> <div> <B>PARENT GUILT</B></div> <bR> <div> In addition to pride and love for your children, you may also feel a lot of guilt.  You may feel that you are not raising your children properly, that somehow you are letting your children down.  You may feel torn in two directions.  You want so much for your children and yet you cannot begin to do nearly enough for them.</div> <bR> <div> Parent guilt comes from the difference between what you feel and what you do.  You hear words coming out your mouth that you hate to say.  You do things that you hate to do.  Even in the middle of spanking or punishing your children you may think, "I don't want to do this.  This is the way my mother (my father) treated me!  I know better."</div> <bR> <div> Books on parenting, like this one, also inspire parent guilt.  You may read a suggestion about how to handle a problem, do something entirely different and feel guilty.  You may read all the wonderful ideas that other people have and you can't seem to come up with your own ideas.  Don't let the guilt get you.</div> <bR> <div> Children are very patient with their parents.  Every time you make a mistake your children will give you another chance.  Your mistakes teach your children about life.</div> <bR> <div> <B>FREEING YOURSELF FROM PARENT GUILT</B></div> <bR> <div> As a parent you wonder, "Should I raise my children the same way my parents raised me, or should I do just the opposite?"  You may not like the way your parents raised you, or you may feel that they did a good job.  In either case, you feel trapped.  In spite of your best efforts, you find yourself doing to your children many of the negative things your parents did to you.  You also find that it is impossible to do some of the positive things your parents did.</div> <bR> <div> <B>WORKING AS A TEAM</B></div> <bR> <div> Half of the problem of raising children is agreeing with your husband or wife about the right approach to discipline.  Sometimes you may feel that it would be a lot easier if you could just raise the children by yourself and not have to work with someone else to do the job.  And, in fact, some of the time it would be a lot less complicated if there was just one person raising the children.</div> <bR> <div> When there are two parents, you can do a tag-team parenting.  When one of you is too tired, exasperated, or angry, the other can step in and take over.  Of course, negotiating and agreeing with your spouse may be what made you tired, exasperated, or angry in the first place.</div> <bR> <div> Your children are going to try to split you and your spouse.  They know exactly how to behave to get the two of you to disagree.  If your children succeed in this endeavor, they have won (and everybody loses).  As hard as it will be sometimes, commit yourself to negotiating and agreeing as much as you can with your spouse.  Although no one will ever understand and raise your children as well as you do, including your spouse, you do need to commit to work together as a team.  Decide that you do not have to agree on everything, but that when it comes to the children, you will work out differences as much as possible. </div> <bR> <div> <B>IF YOU ARE A SINGLE PARENT</B></div> <bR> <div> One of the reasons you are a single parent may be because it was too hard to raise your children with someone else.  There probably were many things you and your ex-spouse disagreed about, with children being near the top of the list.</div> <bR> <div> So how do you raise your children when you are alone?  With a lot of hard work and heartache. You will never have enough time, energy, or money.  Your life will feel like a constant juggling act between children, work, home, and a personal life.  </div> <bR> <div> Put as much energy as you can into developing a network of people to support you.  Find a baby-sitting pool, Mothers' Time Out, relatives, neighbors, and friends you can call on to help with he children.</div> <bR> <div> You need the break and so do your children.  Knowing that you have planned some time away can help you get through some long days and nights.</div> <bR> <div> <B>TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS</B></div> <bR> <div> Finding your way as a parent is a day-to-day process.  Every day you face new dilemmas and have to figure out how to raise your children.  Trust your instincts.  As a parent, you have a fairly good idea of the right things to do for your children.  You may not trust yourself.  However, you will find that once an issue or crisis is over, your basic ideas and sense of what to do was right.  You have gotten this far with your children; trust your instincts to get you to the next step along the way.</div> <bR> <div> <B>TALK WITH OTHER PARENTS</B></div> <bR> <div> You may be raising your children in isolation in this modern society.  The nuclear family of father, mother, and children living alone has few outside contacts and influences except television.  So, how do you learn to raise children?  You learn from your own parents; you learn from friends and neighbors; sometimes you learn from books.  Most of all, you learn the hard way- by trial and error.</div> <bR> <div> In any group of parents, different people will have excellent ideas about how to handle different situations and problems.  The collective wisdom will offer many strategies and approaches.  You will discover that you are not alone when you compare notes with other parents.  They have the same problems you do.  When you compare trials and tribulations, you will realize that the situations at your house are not so bad.  There is always someone else who has more serious problems than you do, and who may have learned good ways to handle those problems.</div> <bR> <bR> <div> <A HREF="id24.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Order Form"><U><B>Order Form</B></U></A></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>